photos taken last Friday night, she went ga-ga over my camera and wanted to give me some silly shots :P.
I’m not sure about other kids out there. But at the tender age of 4.5 yrs old, I’m a bit worried about Faythe. She’s a very competitive or maybe kiasu person. At home, we don’t encourage her to be competitive and to be the best of the best. But I notice that this is within herself.
Most of the time when we play games at home, she wants to win. I often tell her, it doesn’t matter if we win or loose, cause it’s just a game. Most important is we learn from there and learn how to win the next round. Sometimes she understands, but other times she will show her black face or maybe start crying cause I win and she didn’t.
It also happened last year, when we went to watch Asimo at 1u. They threw some questions to the audience but we were not fast enough to answer it. Hence we didn’t get any goodies. She got so upset because of that. Even after that when I bought some asimo goodies for her, she refused to accept it. She told me she wants to get it from the Q&A session, not via me buying it O.o. She was so upset the whole day, so I made a promise to return there next day and so we did, and I had to make sure I answered the Q&A session and we got some goodies from the Honda people. After that she was very happy. *roll eyes*
Sometimes at home, after showering both of them, I’ll wipe them with the towel. Again, she will want to be 1st to get wiped. If she’s slow and I wipe Vyktore 1st, she’d deliberately cut the line. The other day, I casually asked her, “Why always have to be you 1st. Sometimes didi, sometimes you. Must take turns”. She answered me this:
“I always want to be 1st. 1st in everything”
I was pretty shocked with her reply. I told her, “But it’s only wiping body. What would you get out of this if you are 1st?”
She didn’t answer me.
My main concern is that, if she’s so competitive and don’t want to loose out, if someday she fails, she might not be able to recollect herself. But at the same time, if she’s very laid back and not competitive, I might have worries too, if she’s competent with rest of her peers. I would feel much better if she is those type that able to accept win & loose at the same time. For some things in life, you need to be competitive in order not to loose out, but some things in life you won’t mind loosing out.
For now I have not seen that in her yet. Maybe she’s still young?
I must admit that I was never a competitive child when I was young. But my parents put me into a school where it becomes competitive. Along the way, I discover that YES, I do need to be at certain level to survive in school, but that doesn’t mean I have to be the top student. Obviously I was not smart enough to be the TOP, but I was smart enough to be in the top class LOL.
Probably we all live in a different era now compared to those days. But I really do not want Faythe to turn into someone that is so competitive, even minor mistakes she doesn’t accept it. This will go down very hard on her if she does fail along the way.
Parents, any advise out there? Are your child competitive or laid back? What would be your approach in dealing with this?
my eldest wants to be 1st in everything too. she told me that i gave birth to her first so she has to be first in everything! i wonder whether this is the 1st child syndrome.
hi jazz. werney is like faythe too, always wants to be #1 and must outshines everyone though we have kept reminding her is okay not to win but just try our best. i did spoke to a doc on this and the suggestion given is maybe let them lose more often and they will get used to it.
eh i thot it’s normal that kids like to win? no? Kieran is…Kylie..even more…dat’s why always fighting lerrr..
I think being competitive is a good trait to have, like you said, provided it doesn’t go overboard. Faythe is still so young so I don’t think you need to worry so much now. Perhaps she feels she needs to be #1 because of di di. I would let her as it is because you don’t want to crush the spirit as well. But perhaps along the way, reward the person who gets #2 and not #1! 🙂
Hi! My Alycia is about the same like Faythe.I used to tell her that do not compare with other but just do her best and competitive within herself in her studies.
It’s good to be competitive to some extent, but I do notice some over-competitiveness in Faythe. I hope that she can learn to accept failure gracefully, else I really cannot think what will happen in the future :S If my kids got half of Faythe’s competitive streak, I’m a happy mama liao kekekeke….
you know what….sounds like she is all prepped up for primary 1 at chinese school! LOL!
hmmm… good to be competitive, but to an extend i suppose. i feel she is still too young lor, to understand… isn’t it?
is it the school environment made her this way? or from u or dad side?? i hope philip next time wont be like this cos i dont want to see him stressing or pressuring himself… like those Singapore kids 🙁
btw, i miss u at PL full moon.. came late..
Maybe teach her first shall be last and last shall be first. 🙂
My girl’s like that too. Always wanna win, esp when playing games. If lose, give black face. But she’s vy laid back in sch work. So I doubt she’s competitive. Jes a bad loser. hahaha As for Faythe, she’s still vy young. Dun worry too much for now.
Good to have this ‘always want to win’ attitude!
Worry only when the time comes.. when she can’t handle failures.. or not being no. 1. 🙂
hmm…ashley is like this too. always want to be the 1st to do things. glad to read some good suggestion/advice here 🙂
Yiu Yiu is exactly as what Miche said about her eldest. She also says that she has to be #1 coz she was born first LOL
i think almost all kids wanna be “1st” or win all the times. hence, u will still hv to remind faythe all the times that there will be times she will b 2nd or lose. it will b a matter of time before she truly understands it. its not gonna b easy… so, be patience ya
maybe it’s the culture in the kindy?
Alycia my oldest is just like that, always wants to be a winner and always a sore loser who would sulk!